Mountain Town
(Stan) There's a bunch of birds in the sky..
And some deers just went running by..
Oh, the snow's pure and white, on the earth rich and brooown..
Just a-nother sunday morning in my quiet mountain.. town!

The Sun is Shining and the Grass is Green
Under the 3 ft of snow, I mean,
This is a day where its hard to wear a frown!
All the happy people stop to say hello [get out of my way!]
Even though the temperature's low
It's a perfect Sunday morning in my
quiet little mountain town!

Sharon: Well, Good Morning Stan!
Stan: Mom, can I have 8 dollars to see a movie?
Sharon: A Movie? But I thought you were going Ice Skating?
Stan: But this is gonna be the best movie ever! Its a foreign film, from Canada!
Sharon: Alright, alright, here you go.. but be back for supper!
Stan: Thanks Mom!
Oh, what a picture perfect child
Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild
He'd wear a smile if he wore a thorny crown
What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure
and a mind so open and pure..
Thank god we live in
this quiet, redneck mountain town!

Stan: Hi, is your son home?
Mrs McCormick: I think so. HEY!
Stan: ow!
Mrs McCormick: Kenny, wake up, Kenny dammit, come on!
Kenny: I'm coming!
Stan: Kenny, the Terrance and Phillip movie is out! You wanna come?
Kenny: Sure, i'd love to, lets go!
Mrs McCormick: Where do you think you're going?
Kenny: To the Terrace and Phillip movie!
Mrs McCormick: You can't, you have to go to church!
Kenny: But Mom, I wanna see the movie!
Ms McCormick: Well, fine! Go ahead and miss church, and then when you die you go to hell you can answer to SATAN!
Kenny: ..okay!

(Stan) You can see your breath hanging in the air
You see homeless people, but you just don't care!
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown..
[And this movie's gonna make our lives complete
Cos Terrance and Phillip are sweet!]
That's right! Its Sunday morning in our
quiet, little, whitebread, redneck mountain town!

Kyle: Okay Ike, let's try this one more time.. Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Kyle: Kick the Baby! [Ike smashes through a window]
Stan: Kyle, we're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie
Kyle: Oh my God, dude!
Sheila: Kyle, what's going on?
Kyle: Nothing.. we're going skating now.
Sheila: Oh, well take your little brother out with you!
Kyle: Aww Maa, he's not even my real brother, he's adopted!
Sheila: Do as I say, Kyle!
Kyle: Okay, okay, i'm sorry..
Look at those frail and fragile boys
It really gets me down!
This world is such a rotten place,
and city life's a complete disgrace!
That's why I moved to this
Redneck, meshugennah, quiet mountain town!

Cartman: Mom, somebody's at the door..
Mom, somebody's at the door, i said!
Ms Cartman: Coming, hun!
Cartman: Hey, I can't see the TV!
News Reporter: It's been 6 weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him..
Ms Cartman: Oh look Eric.. its your little friends!
Cartman: What are you doing here? [shows him movie ad]
Oh sweet dude! Yes! YES!

(Everyone) Off to the movies we shall go
Where we learnt everything that we know
Cos the movies teach us what parents don't have time to say!
And this movie's gonna make our lives complete..
Cos Terrance and Phillip are sweeeeet! [super sweet!]
Thank god we live in a quiet, little, redneck, podunk, white trash [kickass!]
U.. S.. A!

Stan: Can I have 5 tickets to 'Terrance and Phillip: Asses of fire', please?
Ticket Clerk: ..NO!

Uncle Fucka
Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka..
You're a cock sucking, ass licking, Uncle Fucka..
You're an Uncle Fucka, yes it's true..
Nobody fucks uncles quite like you!
Shut YOUR fucking face, Uncle Fucka..
You're the one that fucked your uncle, Uncle Fucka..
You don't eat or sleep, or mow the lawn..
Just fuck your uncle all day long!

[farting] Hmm.. [more farting] hahahaha!
Canadian Man: What's going on hyah?
[more farting]

Fucka Fucka, Uncle Fucka Uncle Fucka Uncla Fucka..
Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucka!
You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucka!
You're an Uncle Fucka, I must say..
You fucked your uncle yesterday!
Uncle fucka, thats U, N, C, L, E, fuck, you
Uncle Fuckaaaaaaa.. suck my balls.

It's Easy mmmkay
There are times when you get suckered in..
By Drugs and Alcohol, and sex with women, m'kay
But it's when you do these things too much..
That you become an addict, and must get back in touch

You can do it, it's all up to you, m'kay..
With a little plan you can change your life today
You don't have to spend your life addicted to smack
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack
Follow my plan, and very soon you will say..
It's easy, m'kay!

Step one: instead of 'ass' say 'buns',
like 'kiss my buns', or 'you're a buns-hole!'
Step two: instead of 'shit' say 'poo',
as in 'bull poo, 'poo head' and 'the poo is cold'
Step three: with 'bitch' drop the T,
cos 'bich' is Latin for Generousity
Step four, don't say 'fuck' anymore,
cos 'fuck' is the worst word that you can say
So just use the word 'm'kay'!

We can do it, it's all up to us, m'kay! [m'kay!]
With a little plan we can change our lives today [you can change it today!]
We don't have to spend our lives shooting up in the trash
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan, and very soon you will say..
It's easy, m'kay!

Step one: instead of 'ass' say 'buns',
like 'kiss my buns', or 'you're a buns-hole!'
Step two: instead of 'shit' say 'poo',
as in 'bull poo, 'poo head' and 'the poo is cold'
Step three: with 'bitch' drop the T,
cos 'bich' is Latin for Generousity
Step four, don't say 'fuck' anymore,
cos 'fuck' is the worst word that you can say..
'Fuck' is the worst work that you can say..
We shouldn't say 'fuck', no we shouldn't say 'Fuck'
Fuck nooooo!

We don't have to spend our lives shooting up in the trash
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for cash
Follow this plan, and very soon you will say..
It's easy, m'kay! [it's easy, m'kay]
It's easy, m'kay! [it's easy, m'kay]
It's easy, m'kaaaaaaaaaaaay!
[kids start laughing]
..m'kay! ..m'kay ..m'kay!

Blame Canada
They won't obey their parents, they just want to fart and curse!
Should we blame the Government? Or Blame Society?
Or should we blame the images on TV?

No, Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
With all their beady little eyes, their flapping head so full of lies!
Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
We need to form a full assault, It's Canada's Fault!

Don't blame me, for my son Stan..
He saw the darn cartoon, and now he's off to join the clan!
And my boy Eric once had my picture on his shelf..
But now when he sees me, he tells me to fuck myself!

Well? Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
It seems that everything's gone wrong since Canada came along..
Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
They're not even a real country anyway.

My son could've been a doctor or a lawyer, rich and true..
Instead he burned up like a piggy on a Barbecue.
Should we blame the matches? Should we blame the fire?
Or the Doctors who allowed him to expire?

Heck no, Blame Canada! Blame Canada!
With their hockey hullabaloo, and that bitch Anne Murray, too!
Blame Canada! Shame on Canada..
The smut we must stop.. the trash we must smash..
The laugher and fun.. must all be undone..
We must blame them.. and cause a fuss..
before somebody thinks of blaming us!

Kyles Moms a Bitch
Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch, She's a big fat bitch
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch
She's a Bitch to all the Boys and Girls!
On Monday, she's a bitch, on Tuesday, she's a bitch
On Wednesdays through Saturdays, she's a bitch..
Then on Sundays, just to be different
She's a Super King Kamehameha.. Biatch!

["Kamehameha" is japanese for 'Dragonball'.]

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..
She's a mean old bitch, and she has stupid hair
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!
Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
She's a Stupid bitch!
Kyle's mom's a bitch, and she's just a dirty bitch!
Talk to kids around the world..
and it might go a little bit something like this!

[Kyle's mom's a bitch in Chinese]
[Kyle's mom's a bitch in French]
[Kyle's mom's a bitch in Dutch]
[Kyle's mom's a bitch in (some kind of) African]

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's mom?
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world..
She's a mean old bitch, and she has stupid hair
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch!

[Shocked noise]

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch..
She's a Stupid Bitch!
Kyle's Mom's a Bitch, and she's just a dirty bitch!

I really mean it, Kyle's Mom..
She's a Big Fat Fucking Biiiitcchh!
Big old fat fucking bitch, Kyle's mom
Yeah.. Chaa!